PSP Blues (Or, "Guess What's In My Closet?")

I know that what I'm about to say is fairly premature, but if I'm feelin' it, I've gotta say it:

PSP just ain't doin' it for me.

It was lust at first sight, and those holiday flights I spent playing Ridge Racers were heavenly, but I haven't taken the handheld out of my closet in weeks. What's wrong with me? The damn thing is God's gift to gamers on the go, right?

At first I thought I was crazy, but now I'm thinking something even scarier — that the PSP might not be a surefire homerun for Sony.

Many of the system's faults are only temporary, such as the premium price, the so-so library of PS2's hand-me-down games, and the short list of (mostly "meh") upcoming titles. But there are other weaknesses in Sony's handheld plan that may not ever be fixable:

- By design, the PSP is a handheld PS2 with less functionality. Inherently, its games will always be PS2-style titles that aren't quite as good as we're used to. At first it's amazing to see this level of graphics on a handheld, but once the "wow" factor wears off, all we're left with is gameplay. At best, PSP offers a slightly downgraded version of the gaming experience I already get at home. Without any unique gaming features, the PSP is, at best, a stand-in for the real thing.

- So far, the PSP doesn't get what handheld gaming is all about. Because Sony's mission seems to be to recreate the home experience as closely as possible, PSP's console-esque games aren't tailored for snappy "pick-up-and-play" use. Nintendo gets this. Titles like Tetris, Yoshi's Touch 'N Go, Polarium, Nintendogs, etc. offer bite-sized bursts of low-commitment fun. For the most part, when I'm stuck waiting somewhere, I'm not looking to engross myself in an epic story; I'm just looking to waste time in the least annoying way possible.

- PSP's extra functions aren't really delivering. The system will never be my prime music player because my iPod kills it, and I'd never pay more than $5 for a UMD movie when I'm already buying the DVD. I'm much more likely to put movies onto Memory Stick, but Sony has restricted and complicated that process to the point that I'll hardly ever bother. The PSP is a Jack-of-all-trades, but master of none.

- The system is a little too big and expensive to just toss in your pocket and go. Its easy-scratch screen makes it a no-no for kids, not that many of them could get their hands on a $300 to $400 PSP bundle, anyway. That makes adults almost exclusively the target market, who generally have much less "handheld time" in their day. Unless you take public transit to work, when are you going to pull the thing out? I'll play a great PSP game at home on the couch, but if my 36" TV is in front of me, I can get the same experience, only better, on it.

When I first got my PSP, I was convinced that the DS was doomed, and that it was only a matter of time before Sony began taking major marketshare from Nintendo. Now, I'm not so sure. As underpowered as the GBA and DS are, they offer a good assortment of fun, unique handheld experiences. Different experiences, not just "console-lite" games. They offer a better business model to publishers. And, they embrace the biggest handheld market, kids.

On the plus side, the PSP is obviously gorgeous, and anyone who gets a glimpse of it wants one instantly. The games will get better, and Sony is still learning about this new market it's entered. But for anyone who, like me, saw the PSP as an unstoppable beast, E3 was a sobering experience. About 22 new PSP games total, almost all of them PS2 shovelware.

To say the least, it will be very interesting to see how PSP evolves the second half of this year.